Awakening the Mama Bear Within
That Mama Bear tenacity is rising in me again. It’s been a while, but she is awakened.
To be honest, it’s been a year of inner struggle. I know I’m not alone. And I know there are so many bigger concerns in the world than mine.
I also know we experience the emotions and energy of what we believe. We create tumultuous inner worlds that grow if left unchecked. Life can come to feel like a war zone.
She is stirring, though.
She will rise faster than before and settle into a familiar space.
She came first in the middle of the night as we drove across the blackness of the Nevada desert, and my husband cried out in pain for miles. Our young son watched from the back seat as I yelled prayers to keep my husband conscious.
She held us there, steady and knowing, until we reached a rest stop and the pain quietly slithered away into nothingness.
I discovered her again in the midst of months of uncertainty, when she gently revealed to me the kind of love I needed to live in order to refind my marriage. That unconditional, protective, knowing love of a Mama Bear is the kind we all deserve—certainly my husband, with whom I have built and nurtured a life and family.
The lower energies of frustration, disappointment, and doubt had grown into emotional numbness until a new Love awakened them, and I turned to my own part in healing our marriage.
She held me above fear during the months our son was deployed in the fierce beginning battles of the war in Afghanistan. I learned what it is to be unwavering then—to see one you love protected, safe, untouchable, moment by moment… and not let go of this knowing.
To see all mankind loved by Love, no matter their circumstances.
This is where I am now. Praying for our battered world. Cherishing our children caught in situations no child should know. Holding firmly to the belief that we are all eternally known.
And the war inside my head? The culprit is recognized, revealed, seen. All the honest work that builds self-awareness lays a foundation for faster recovery. Not easy, but clearer.
The doubts and fears that rise are familiar, unimaginative.
I find that I can no longer put on a happy face. I can no longer hide behind masks or pretend words.
Though I may wrestle for a while, that unwavering, focused, intentional Mama Bear belief will carry me. When she settles in, she is unmovable.
And, ah, the angels. An army of sisters has come from all directions in recent weeks to encourage, inspire, protect—to hold me accountable to what I need. To offer to walk beside me. To check in. They are the promise of relief.
And my husband is my rock. My home. My steadfast inspiration.
Here is what I know: there’s a comprehensive certainty to releasing ego, to surrendering responsibility, to turning attention to the art of Being over the never-enough effort of Doing.
It is easier said than done.
I begin by accepting that Mama Bear’s love is for me, too. That she sees and holds me as unwaveringly precious and called. That she knows what I need and is already coming to meet me.
I just have to stand still enough for her to reach me. Quiet the scurrying thought so it hears her approach. Lean into her embrace.
There is no hierarchy to struggle. The pain, the stress, the fear—all happen in our thoughts. We create the size of the battle.
There are numerous books written about the power of belief that delivered people from the most horrendous experiences.
If they can, I can too.
It takes consistent vigilance to begin to recognize the patterns of thought that paralyze us and cut off the flow of Good that is waiting for us. It takes honesty and determination to uncover them, and tenacity to replace them with new beliefs.
From fear, doubt, and hopelessness to gratitude, hope, and affirmation of Good—I rise. I rise by exhalation of all that holds me captive.
I am awakened. I am ready for the work.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
—Rumi
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